Saturday morning. Your daughter has been watching cartoons on the tablet since she woke up, you’re answering a work message, “just a minute,” and the TV is still on in the background because nobody remembered to turn it off. Nobody has done anything wrong. But when you look up, it’s eleven o’clock, and the two of you haven’t talked about anything all morning.
The question we usually ask is how much time a child can spend in front of a screen. With young children, what’s on the screen, what it’s used for, who they watch it with, and what it leaves out count almost as much. And the adults’ phones are part of that count too.
How much time, according to the guidelines (which don’t agree)
For children under 2, the World Health Organization (WHO) doesn’t recommend any screen time. Between the ages of 2 and 4, it says time spent sitting in front of a screen shouldn’t go over one hour a day, and that less is better (WHO, on its guidelines for children under 5). The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), in its 2016 statement, which is the one that gives numbers, advises avoiding screens before 18 months, except for video calls with family. Between 18 and 24 months, if screens are introduced, quality content and always with an adult alongside. And between the ages of 2 and 5, at most one hour a day of quality programs, watched with an adult.
The Spanish Association of Pediatrics (AEP) goes further. Since 2024, it has recommended avoiding screens until age 6, because it considers there is no safe amount of time, and saving them for short video calls with relatives (AEP, Plan Digital Familiar).
They all point in the same direction: less time sitting still in front of a screen, and more play, sleep, and time spent reading or telling stories with an adult. Most homes have screens, and what follows helps them take up less space and helps you use them better when they’re on.
What matters besides the minutes
The AAP also suggests looking at five things (AAP, on screens for ages 2 to 4).
What your child is like. Some children have a very hard time putting the screen down, and others let go of it with no trouble. Knowing how yours reacts helps you set limits that fit them.
What they watch. Programs made for their age, and as few videos with ads as possible. If they watch videos online, make them a list of the ones you’re happy with and turn off autoplay, so the algorithm isn’t the one deciding what comes next.
What they use it for. Putting something on so you can shower or make dinner isn’t a failure: it helps to decide beforehand what they’ll watch and to make sure it has a clear ending. What the AAP advises against is handing them a screen every time they’re upset or bored, because that way they miss chances to learn other ways to calm down.
What it leaves out. What’s most worth keeping an eye on is whether it eats into sleep, play, conversation, or meals: the child who only eats with cartoons on is a scene many families recognize.
Whether you talk about what they watch. Watching something together and talking about it afterward helps them understand it. At 4 or 5, “Why do you think the bunny was sad?”; at 2 or 3, putting a name to it: “Look, the bunny’s crying. He’s sad.”
Grown-ups’ screens
In a study that followed 183 couples with children aged 0 to 5 for six months, the relationship went both ways: parents stressed by a child who was more of a handful turned more to their phones and other devices, and more interruptions from technology were associated with more behavior problems months later. The data come from the parents’ own reports (McDaniel and Radesky, 2018).
Background TV counts too. In a lab experiment with 51 children aged 1 to 3 who were playing with one of their parents, when a TV was on showing a program for adults, parents talked less with their children and the interaction was of lower quality (Kirkorian et al., 2009).
Telling something to someone who’s looking at you feels different from telling it to someone who’s looking at their phone. The AAP suggests making a screen plan for the whole family, parents included (AAP, tips for the digital age). And when you need to use your phone in front of your child, telling them what you’re doing (“I’m replying to Grandma”) can help them understand why you’re not looking at them.
Where to start
You don’t need to change everything at once. Start with just one thing, the one that will cause the least fuss.
Turn off the TV nobody is watching. It’s the easiest step and the one that brings the fewest complaints.
Put the morning tablet out of reach. Leave a basket of storybooks or toys handy next to the bed. It’s normal for them to protest the first few days.
Work phone at set times. If you need to be reachable, check it at agreed times or step out of the room to reply.
Ideas for everyday life
Screen-free times and places. The AAP suggests meals and bedtime, for everyone, and “do not disturb” mode on the adults’ phones. In their bedroom, no TV or tablet; your phone, if you can, charging outside the room.
No free access, and not at any hour. The AAP advises against giving them open access to the tablet or phone. Routines help little ones: if screen time has its own moment (“while I’m in the shower,” “after nap time”), there’s less arguing.
Give a warning before turning it off. “When this episode is over, we’re turning it off.” The AAP suggests using the device’s own timer; set it to go off when the episode ends, not halfway through.
Sit with them when you can. What the AAP recommends is watching together; when that’s not possible, try not to let too long go by without sitting down beside them for a while.
With siblings of different ages, whatever the older one watches, the younger one watches too: when they’re together, choose with the younger one in mind.
Make room for boredom. A stretch of time with nothing to do doesn’t always have to be filled with a screen. While you cook, they can have their own box of things in the kitchen or help you wash something. We wrote about this in “Boredom isn’t the enemy”.
Neither a reward nor a punishment. If screen time is earned or lost depending on how they behave, it becomes more important and there are more arguments over it. As a reward, something else works better: choosing the bedtime story or a little more playtime with you.
When to bring it up with the pediatrician
According to the AAP, in young children there are two signs that screen use is becoming a problem: constant arguments about screens and losing interest in other things (AAP, tips for the digital age). It’s also worth bringing up if screens are taking hours away from sleep or from moving around, or if they’ll only eat with cartoons on. For that, mentioning it at the next checkup is enough; if that’s a long way off, make an appointment or talk to the pediatric nurse.
With language and relating to others, don’t wait. See the pediatrician right away if they aren’t saying any words by around 16-18 months, if at 2 they aren’t putting two words together, if they don’t respond to their name, if they don’t point to show you something or don’t look at you to share what they’re seeing, or if they lose words, gestures, or ways of relating to others that they already had. And don’t just put it down to screens: you can cut back on them at the same time, but don’t wait to see whether things improve before making the appointment.
A story with a photo at the end
In The Little Mountain Explorer, a story for children ages 4 to 7, Daniel, a little city dog, climbs the mountain with music in his ears and his eyes on a screen, and doesn’t see anything along the way (we tell the whole story in “Mindfulness for kids”). There are two details that fit this topic. The first is that Daniel isn’t on his own: the adult who goes with him walks up the path looking at the GPS. The second is that the phone doesn’t disappear from the story: at the end, Daniel takes it out to photograph a flower, after he has looked at it.
A story on a screen is still a screen: if you use it, it’s better to do it together and talk about it. An idea for afterward: next time you go out, they can ask you for your phone to take a photo of something, but only once they’ve looked at it for a good while.
The Little Mountain Explorer
Adventures on the highest peaks
Daniel is a young puppy who travels from the city to the mountain village where his cousin Nina lives. During the trip there, he's absorbed with headphones and distractions, and completely misses the beauty of the route: waterfalls, animals, ancient trees. When he arrives, Nina realizes that her cousin wasn't really there. Nina proposes a challenge for the return trip: put away the distractions and use a different map, one made of things to find with your senses. Daniel accepts and discovers that the same path, traveled with presence and attention, becomes an amazing adventure. He learns that first you need to BE present, and then, if you want, you can capture the moment.
Read this children's story in the Semillita app
